


Fading Embers

by Pinx_B



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Light Angst, Prompt Fic, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25758652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinx_B/pseuds/Pinx_B
Summary: Plagued by her memories of the past, Byakuren struggles to come to terms with her plight..(Reader Prompt Opportunity)
Relationships: Hijiri Byakuren/Yasaka Kanako
Comments: 10
Kudos: 27





	Fading Embers

* * *

The crowds were jeering in a reprehensible manner, mouths practically foaming with coarse taunts and all she could do was plead, beg for them to let her go, that she meant no harm.

She just wanted to help people, be they youkai, human or whatever else. 

Byakuren's pleas fell on deaf ears as the chains wrapped around her dug into her skin. Her wrists were already bleeding, chafed raw given the intensity of the metal binding her. The condition of her ankles and stomach were not fairing any better as the binds yanked painfully around them which made Byakuren's breathing laboured. 

But the woman knew she wasn't going to attain any sympathy from people, from these _humans_.

For her to be aligning herself with youkai was one thing but to become one, well, that was another heinous crime and there was no going back.

In the soulless eyes of the humans in front of her, Byakuren was as tainted as the dark magic she had become imbued in. 

She was as good as dead.

And beings like her saw no heaven.

They burned endlessly.

They perished in the unforgiving fires of Hell.

They were doomed to eternal damnation. 

Taunts continued to flood in from every direction from spectators, ogling the interior of the prison she was going to be spending the rest of her life in while those in charge of her imprisonment looked upon her with nothing but disgust as they turned their back on her. 

There was no escape from this fiery Hell and the duplicity of behaviour from humans.

Their thinking was too primitive, too sheltered to ruminate beyond the norm. 

She was surrounded by flames hotter than those she had ever encountered prior and she would be feasted upon by the licking flames slowly, watching nothingness as she perished. 

It was a befitting punishment for those that obtained the malevolent forces, the enemy of humanity. 

Black magic, the encompassing of everything that is evil. 

That is all Byakuren was seen as and nobody could save her now.

Not Shinki, not those she had saved, she was to suffer alone.

"Please, don't do this.." her final cry came out as her skin burned and body ached, "Please!".

Countless of charms and spells had been placed upon her, making escape futile because clearly chains and barricades were not going to be enough to keep the tainted woman that Byakuren had devolved into. 

She writhed in agony as she watched the final shadowy figures of her imprisoning leave the premises as a loud clang is heard from the outside.

After that, it was silent, even the outskirts of the flames flickering around her were seemingly noiseless while she hung from the chains that had been blessed too. Her head went limp as she cried, tears skimming down her cheeks, wondering if this was fair, if it was humane to imprison one for trying to do good.

Not just for some, but for _all_. 

Byakuren's quest for an extended life may have been a selfish desire at first, born from fear but that had changed, morphed into something countless of individuals needed.

Hope. 

That despite the species, everyone was entitled to being able to live in harmony. 

Byakuren tugged at the chains suspended from the cave wall above as her frustrated cries continued, laced with pain and betrayal. 

She was alone, cocooned by her supposed sins and left to rot in a shrine buried in the middle of nowhere.

Lost to the ages.

All she had were her memories to provide her comfort but perhaps that in itself was a curse. She was never to be free from her thoughts as her final moments up to her confinement rummaged around her brain.

Her journey for life led her to Makai where demons were the majority of the population. Other species made up the remaining percentage which included the daring few humans who were either brave, stupid or didn't value their life. 

It was there that Byakuren would begin her journey into becoming a being that transcended a normal lifespan, cheating death at the cost of her soul.

She didn't want to die, not like her brother who didn't deserve such a fate.

Fear engulfed Byakuren at the idea of being reduced to ash and allowed to roam with the wind but that wasn't what she desired, she wanted to live.

Live to see the world.

Live to follow in Myouren's footsteps. 

Live to spread the message that youkai were not inherently evil. 

But it was in vain as she hung there in her prison, left to rot in her own ordure. 

"Shinki.." Byakuren whispered, "Shinki" she wept, wondering if the demon Goddess who had taken her in could hear her, save her.

The Queen of Makai had been beyond merciful, showing tact and grace despite dealing with a species outside of her own. 

A species that had a tendency of tainting the names of those she ruled over and yet, Shinki had taken her in, taught her, loved her, offering a cornucopia of comfort she hadn't thought she would ever attain. 

The imagery of the ebullient woman set off another stream off helplessness as she bit back a fresh stream of sobs. 

Despair settled in, making Byakuren whip her head around in panic. 

She wasn't ready to die, but she wasn't ready to be locked away for eternity either to repine. 

A prisoner in her mind, a prisoner.

That is all she was now and there was nothing she could do but atone for her sins, selling her soul and siding with the enemy that were youkai. 

But that was mere fabrication and hyperbole from frightened humans. 

Regardless of what she felt, Byakuren would never again yield to such beliefs. 

To hold such prejudice wasn't how she was as a person. 

Youkai had been merciful with her whereas her own race had feared her, insulted her and locked her away.

She wondered as to who the true monsters were in this case.

There was a laughable irony in the fact that she was having a lengthy amount of time to ponder her answers regarding humanity and monsters as her skin burned.

There was little point in shuffling against her binds as her body succumbed to flames, unable to process anything her brain was depicting.

She was sealed away, to be forgotten. 

All the good she had done was dismissed due to the fact that she had taken leniency for the behaviour of youkai. 

To go as far as protecting them and attempting to convince others that they could live side by side was despicable. 

It may have been a pipe dream at first but Byakuren had seen it as she too was human once. She knew how she felt about others and none of it consisted of hatred.

That is all she wanted.

To live harmoniously in a world that wouldn’t shun her for fearing death.

Irony struck again for the woman as a pitiful whimper escaped her lips as her body loosened under exhaustion, hands going limp as the talismans scattered around her continued to singe her skin.

She was the enemy now. 

Humans despised her.

Youkai didn't understand her.

She was alone.

Byakuren smiled, a maudlin variation of her otherwise beautiful action.

How she wished death would consume her now.

How she wished that something lurking within the darkness would tear away at her flesh, its demonic form stripping her from the remnants of life.

It was what she deserved, wasn't it?

For daring to dream of a world where human and youkai could coexist

She deserved to die.

Her mind materialised the suffering she wanted to embroil herself in, a hallucination of said shadow creeping out from beyond the flames, fangs glistening and claws ready for the taking. 

Byakuren's smile became even more empty as she chuckled, her hazel eyes glistening with unshed tears as she stared death in the face.

"End me". 

It was only the first day of her thousand year confinement.

"Please!". 

She gave up. 

"No!". 

  
Byakuren woke up from her sleep with a start, her eyes adjusting to the dimness of her room.

Her breathing was sallow as she collected herself, the flashbacks of her nightmares following her back into reality.

They would reoccur in her mind now and then but recently, they had been rather frequent, going back to the time she had been freed of her imprisonment where they happened often. 

These occasional reminders were enough to put the woman on edge as she blinked her eyes rapidly to stave away the hopscotch of needing to sleep and wanting to wake up at the same time.

She glanced around into the crepuscular interior of her room and out of the window to see that it was till the late, around 4 Am. That was when the nightmares would suffice more so than usual but they had lessened over time. 

However, the times she did find her herself back in that Hell, the memories were intense.

 _Memories_ , not nightmares.

That would be wishful thinking.

The thoughts followed her but Byakuren refused to let what was of the past taint her present and her future. 

So she shook out of her stupor and climbed out of her futon in an effort to remind herself that _this_ was the reality she was living in now.

There was no need to simmer in the past, not when there was a whole new world out here for everyone, a place where she wasn't ostracised for daring to think differently, freely.

Quietly, she got dressed and left her room, silently padding through the halls and chuckling to herself when she heard the familiar snores from her followers. It was a comforting sound, as was the late night silence which helped to keep her intruding thoughts of her past at bay. 

She took in the serenity of the temple and how it was a symbolism of her journey to find a place for many others like herself that they could call home, without the fear of being ousted. 

Gensokyo existed.

A sanctuary she had been craving well before her isolation existed and each step she took was a reminder of that as she made her way outside. Her hazel eyes roamed the expanse of the land, expression softening at the familiarity of such a beautiful landscape filled with youkai and humans, living side by side.

It had been achieved, such a haven to exist and Byakuren's remaining fears dulled in her chest as she took in a breath.

Gensokyo was far from perfect but that was what made the land habitable by all. 

There wasn't a place or person to exist that could be deemed as perfect and it was often such mind sets and hierarchies that believed they were which brought war and animosity on all sides that simply wanted to live peacefully.

But here, in an illusionary land, shielded away from the cruelties of the Outside World and within, everyone thrived.

There was an order instigated by Yukari and followed up by Reimu.

There was a balance, a harmony and Byakuren could hear it in the way the light summer night's breeze curled around her as she walked forward across the well kept grounds of the temple till she was a little away from the entrance. 

It helped to wipe away the remnants of her dreams as the dark sky slowly bled away into the unknown, mesmerising her with a million stars above her, each one twinkling like a revue being put on show for her. 

This was home.

This was escapism.

This was reality.

Gensokyo was beautiful, a place where faiths of all could coexist under the watchful eye of of its eccentric leader, one that Byakuren had taken solace in too.

For everything she had endured, for all the pain she had had bestowed upon her, Byakuren would relive it again if it meant that Gensokyo was where she would end up.

A place constructed of balanced serenity and chaos, and of colourful characters that had become a staple in her life.

Such as the one who had spoken out. 

The voice coming from behind her snapped the Priestess out of her musings as she turned around to face the entrance again. 

Her hazel eyes widened slightly to see the figure of someone familiar sitting casually on the roof of her temple.

"Kanako".

"Good evening, well, morning soon enough" Kanako grinned at the Priestess’s amused expression, "Can't sleep?".

Byakuren merely laughed softly after the initial surprise of finding Kanako there since that had actually become a frequent occurrence.

"Something of that nature, yes. And yourself?" she replied whilst stepping forward, raking her eyes over the Goddess that was perched there, one leg tucked up to rest on her feet and the other outstretched. 

The relaxed posture was another thing Byakuren had familiarised herself with, along with Kanako in general.

The Goddess played an integral role, both in her being set free and setting up the temple, in return of aiding Sanae out of Makai again via the Palanquin.

Little did Byakuren know that something more would come to fruition from their initial introduction and yet, she couldn't have asked for a anything more. 

Kanako was comfort, solid and stable, just like the temple that housed the ship having had been constructed by her and Suwako.

Byakuren found herself leaning towards the enigmatic yet loquacious Goddess from the Outside World.

"Likewise" Kanako answered and motioned for the Priestess to join her, "Join me for an early morning drink?" she then pointed to the assortment of cups near her that Byakuren hadn't seen before.

"Isn't it a little early to start that?".

The Goddess grinned, "For tea? There is no such thing as wrong time for tea, don't you know?".

Shaking her head, Byakuren smiled and gently flew up to join her Shinto counterpart for what was indeed early morning tea.

"Interesting, you just happened to be brewing something on my roof at this hour, Kanako?".

"What can I say, I like to be prepared" Kanako chuckled as the Priestess took a seat next to her.

"So it seems" Byakuren replied and watched the other woman ready a cup for her. 

She noted the way Kanako's crimson eyes lingered on her now and then in the midst of their comfortable silence, her graceful actions keeping the woman hypnotised. The delectable fragrance of the tea helped to aid her rattled mind, as did the company so she couldn't help but to succumb further into the Goddess's presence.

Kanako handed her a cup which Byakuren took a delicate sip from that allowed the saporific flavours to dance over her tongue as she closed her eyes, humming in appreciation. 

It was a blend she could recognise as some variant of genmaicha, a mild nutty flavour that was low in caffeine. 

"That is delectable". 

Kanako smiled whilst taking in the woman's serene countenance. 

It was far more suited for her than what she knew Byakuren was concealing. 

With the sun rising soon, a warm glow nestled over Gensokyo which caught Byakuren's eyes.

Kanako gave the woman a moment to gather her thoughts, noticing the pensive stare in the gentle hazel orbs.

"Is it really just a coincidence for you to happen to be here?". 

The heat from the cup warmed her up further, as did the amused gaze being delivered when Kanako acknowledged the question with a smile. 

"You don't believe in them?".

"I wouldn't say that. I believe coincidences are the remnants of moments that simply hadn't finished been carried out".

"Well, that's a new way of putting it" Kanako grinned and sipped her tea, "Let's just say I had a feeling you'd be awake".

Byakuren raised a brow, her purple fringe brushing with the wind, "That is quite ominous".

"I am ominous".

"I believe the word Sanae used was, 'edgy'?" Byakuren chuckled at the look of defeat on Kanako's winsome features, "You learn something new every day with everyone here".

Kanako laughed in agreement, "No kidding. Gensokyo is an intriguing location, isn't it. Though that might be an underestimation".

"Indeed, its existence has been beneficial for the likes of you and I".

Kanako picked up on the faraway tone of the woman next to her as her eyes flickered to Byakuren's captivating face. She already knew why she was there as something in Kanako's senses and her humanity had become attuned to Byakuren's moods and demeanour. She knew of the woman's past as explained by Sanae on her travels back from that incident and she could feel nothing but sympathy for what Byakuren had endured.

The Goddess knew it was an experience nobody truly got over, a level of trauma that many residents of Gensokyo seemed to be imbued in which was saddening.

Kanako had her own story, after all.

But Gensokyo existed and it was indeed beneficial for beings like her and Byakuren.

"Isn't that more of a reason to look towards the future than walking back into the past? ".

Hitting the nail on the head, the Priestess turned her face to lock eyes with Kanako, "I agree, however, remnants of the past will _always_ creep through. It is the matter of how one deals with it that decides if they do move on or not".

"Would that be an indication to you not having had moved on? I mean, not in its entirety as I know that that is impossible but..".

Kanako didn't back down either as Byakuren's gaze fluttered slightly, feeling like Kanako's eyes was probing into her soul, "As you say, not in its entirety".

The woman gripped her wrists after she had placed the cup down and felt the rugged dents of the chains that had branded her for life. 

She would never be rid of her scars, of her imprisonment, she would never truly run away.

Each raise of her skin on her wrists was a reminder as to what had occurred and the price she had paid for it.

Yes, she would live for an exceedingly long time without the hindrance of a human lifespan but she would have to share that existence with her memories. 

She attempted to not look down at her hands as she tried to answer Kanako, her lips pursed lightly.

The woman didn't get a chance when she felt Kanako take her hands so she tried to free them away, the surprise of the touch making her gasp and pull away but Kanako gently kept a hold of her.

"I'm sorry, Byakuren".

"Can you let me go please?" she pleaded in a small voice but Kanako scooted closer, manoeuvring herself till she was adjacent of the woman.

"Reminders of the past will always haunt you, _us_ , but that is all they need to be" Kanako said gently, gaze looking at the Priestess more tenderly than Byakuren had ever seen, "If you continue to blame yourself for what has occurred, then your imprisonment is still ongoing, isn't it?". 

Byakuren furrowed her brows, tugging her arms back, or tried to but Kanako didn't let her.

The truth hurt, stung in ways unimaginable but it burrowed into her heart because Kanako was right. 

Still, Byakuren argued it. 

"It isn't that simple".

"Nothing ever is, certainly not when it comes to what we are. But that mattered in other places, not here, not Gensokyo. The asperity you faced doesn't bode well here".

Gently, Kanako eased her grip on Byakuren's fingers and then moved her hands to hold Byakuren's wrist, turning them towards the sky.

It was the first time she had managed to get a closer look since the scarring was more prevalent inside the wrists than outside. She could see the jagged terrain marring the Priestess's delicate skin, angry and prominent. 

Kanako heard Byakuren flinch but the woman didn't struggle anymore as the gentleness of Kanako's thumbs swept over the scars, as if she was caressing away the hurt that was trapped in them. 

She looked back up at Byakuren "We all carry the residual of the lives we once lived and it's fine to think of it now and then, to remind yourself that things could be worse. But it is essential to not live there, not when you have a world in here" she motioned with her head to the sleeping residents that were in the temple, "This isn't Hokkai".

"I see you have been doing your research" Byakuren managed a chuckle, her eyes tearing at the sight of the inviting look on Kanako's face and words, "This is why not all coincidences are not coincidences".

The Goddess smirked, "Okay, you got me there" before running her fingers behind Byakuren's wrists that were still in her hands, "We have similar stories that were carried out in different means, that's all. It doesn't mean I won't understand your plight, Byakuren".

"You're a Goddess, it _is_ different".

"I was once human too, I haven't forgotten that" Kanako answered, "I know what emotions lie in self-loathing and fear. I still do. If that wasn't the case, I wouldn't have had to come here in order to ensure the safety of Sanae and Suwako. I know the limits one will got through for that safety, that sanctuary".

Behind Kanako's flashy and voluble exterior, Byakuren knew there was woman whom worried and struggled about things that were not in her control despite her Goddess status. She was baring it right now as she held her hands, eyes open and unguarded to help her understand that it was okay to dip into the past.

But it was another thing to be swallowed by its grip.

Byakuren's body shivered slightly and she wasn't sure if that was due to the conversation, the wind or Kanako.

It seemed irrelevant right now as Kanako's pleading countenance struck a chord within her, severing the ties of the nightmares she had had earlier.

"I don't know how to refrain from..from the thoughts, especially at night when everything is silent" the woman crumbled, struggling to fight back her tears, "It is deafening and I feel like I'm being enclosed again. The bindings come back, the heat, all of it, it is like I'm back there".

Kanako was quick to let go of the woman's wrists and got up on her knees to take the Byakuren into her embrace, the angle of their place on the roof making it so that Byakuren's head was nestled against Kanako's chest. Her arms encircled the Goddess's waist as she held onto her tight, that solid feeling she had come to associate with Kanako providing an escape. 

There was no point in concealing her anguish anymore, not when Kanako's words resonated in her mind, her being. 

"I understand, I'm here, Byakuren. But you won't ever have to return then, I won't allow it".

She whispered it into the woman's hair while she held her tighter against the backdrop of the rising sun.

This was a level of trauma Byakuren didn't reveal anymore, she couldn't as she had become a revered figure which others relied on and she wanted that image to remain.

So to finally break down and be free from what was stifling her felt like a breath of fresh air being inhaled into her parched lungs, much like the one she took after she was released from her confinement.

Kanako's embrace felt comforting as opposed to suffocating so she remained there, pressed against the woman's heart, allowing a certain kind of warmth to become imparted into her.

Not a volatile heat that scalded. 

Nor an unrestrained wall of fire that flooded her. 

The ember emitting from Kanako was gentle to ameliorate her. 

It was consoling, like a blanket being wrapped around her during the winter nights.

She wasn't was a prisoner anymore, she was free.

"This isn't Hokkai" Kanako softly repeated against Byakuren's hair, pressing her lips over it to continue her tentative care.

It was a mantra that Byakuren often repeated to herself but there were night's like this where her brain would engulf her in a chasm of flames to remind her of what once was, obfuscating her happiness.

"Kanako" she elicited quietly, exuding all the pent up anxiety and dread over the other woman's heartbeat. 

No matter the scars, nor the memories, Hokkai wouldn't be able to drag her back to the depths again.

Gensokyo was home now, the place her friends, her family and her followers were.

Regardless of how overwhelming her past became, Byakuren only had to look around to see that this was not her prison.

This was freedom.

**Author's Note:**

> Been a couple of months since the last set so why not do another batch :) as usual, first 4 prompts will be done
> 
> Stay safe! ^^


End file.
